Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Struggle

“Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.”

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of my personal Jury, I stand before you fatigued with a certain sense of despondency. To my left is my beautiful Love, whom hasn’t slept for approximately thirty-six hours straight. In her slumber, she remains peaceful and undisturbed. And while she may snore every now and then, each vibration of her respiratory structures only give testament to the hard work she has been enduring for said hours. Unfortunately for her, she also has work about twelve hours from now, followed by another night of class.

The living room around me is quiet and motionless, save for my companion and myself. Through the headphones, the orchestral compositions of Philip Glass pour into my ears like a much-needed reprieve from my own exhausting day. While I have only been awake for a mere nineteen hours, I too have faced my share of the day’s trials and tribulations. I need not share too many details for you, for that would detract from the purpose of my rant. Yes, even rants have their own purposes and messages to convey; not that mine ever had one.

The road is long and arduous. Surely, there are those whose works and deeds outmatch my own. Compared to my schedule, their abilities to maintain composure under pressure is nothing short of a miracle. Nevertheless, our own problems and trivialities always seem to be the most horrible, don’t they? It’s only natural; we are predestined to be selfish of a certain measure. Our basic instincts promote us to do what’s best for us; pushing for our survival through the cold and desolate landscape we call Earth. I jest. The Earth is not cold and desolate. However, do we often feel alone in a room full of people? Though two bodies may be within inches of one another, they may still feel light years apart. Such is the power of our mind, the power of fear and isolation. It secludes us, taking away from our humanity, as we know it. Eventually, we find ourselves becoming more cold and bitter to the world around us. Is it wrong for us to be a reflection of what we see everyday?

Not necessarily. But keep in mind that our capacity for emotion and compassion are what makes us human. Without them, we are but the lifeless dolls I see on my way home from school. On a side note, those dolls are seriously disturbing as heck, especially at night. A small room is dedicated to them in this offbeat toy store. When it’s dark, they leave these ominous lights that cast a demonic glow upon them. One would think they’d suddenly come to life and slay us all. Sorry. I’m getting off on a tangent here, aren’t I?

In the face of great adversity, the once contented calf may turn into the course donkey. That is, one of calm and concise behavior can just as easily slip into a sardonic and rancorous cynic. Our troubles and worries often serve to harden us as our winters of discontent approach. The ice of indifference builds quickly, and we grow cold of it. And so, after four sum-odd paragraphs, I come to say that it’s difficult being a good person in such trying times.

It’s easier to hate than love, I always thought. That’s why so many people have done it in the past, I suppose. It’s easier to point fingers than it is to accept responsibility. Accountability has always made us, as a species, weak to our own insecurities. No one likes to fail, unless you’re one of those people. In that case, I hope you’re enjoying yourselves. In the end, at the end of the day, you are responsible for you. It’s as simple as that.

Whether you’re working six jobs or some other seemingly ungodly schedule, I wish the best of luck to you. As hard as things may be for you, keep in mind that there are always others worse off than you. In essence, try to keep things in perspective, a little bit. Learning to deal with the road bumps along the way are what make us the people we are. We have a great capacity, a great potential to achieve marvelous things. No one ever said the road was easy to traverse. If were all so easy, what challenge or interest would there be in life? None, and I hope you’d agree too. Struggles are as necessary as they are inevitable. We’re bound to hit a bunch of these in our lives. But at the moment, I am very tired and am soon to fall asleep in the warm care of the Sandman himself.